Family time series: a series of one shots
by serenausagi96
Summary: a little twilight family time. Some of them are not finished. Those would be the few i managed to save from getting flushed...
1. Chapter 1

AN: so i'm just gonna put this up tonite! lucky readers you! :D

We were at an home with mom and dad. They were showing us a picture of our new baby sister and brother, they were twins. It was one of those funny looking ultrasound pictures. "it looks like a squirrel, Mac commented. "shut-up Mac, i retorted, what do you know about babies anyway?"

I looked up only to see our parents laughing at us. What was funny? Mac had just insulted the babies, and even though they weren't here yet, i already loved them. Dad read my thoughts at that moment. "sorry sweetheart i was just laughing because you guys remind of your aunt rosalie and i when we were young.", he responded to my thoughts.

Isn't that a double standard? I mean technically, they never really got older, they're vampires, and last time i checked dad was 17. Again dad chose the perfect moment to read my mind and chuckled at my train of thought. "You know what i mean", he responded to my thoughts again.

"you do know i can hear everything your thinking right?", Mac's voice interrupted my thoughts. Because my dad is a mind reader, and my mom has other multiple powers, they had to split in half between Mac and i. So we had the advantage of telethapy, we could read each others minds and communicate as well.

I was inwardly cursing Mac for interrupting me. I was having a moment here with dad, and he just ruined it. I was annoyed. _Mac leave,_ i thought. _Nessie, over my dead body,_ he countered me. I had him right where i wanted him, and a great come back line too. _You're a vampire, don't you mean un-dead body? Ha gotcha! _

AN: Sorry really needed some brother sister vampire time there. I couldn't help myself. Now.... perform a good deed today.... hit that nice little review button down there... go on.... isn't it cute? All you have to do is click it.


	2. Alice's POV nine months to go

I was walking down he stairs at human speed when i heard Bella dry sobbing. I was by her side in two seconds flat. Bella was on the couch, turned away from Edward, who looked totally lost and confused. "What's wrong?", i asked. " Edward...thinks...I'm...fat!", she dry sobbed.

Flashback...

Edward walked downstairs at human speed. As he reached the couch, he kissed his wife Bella, on the cheek. "How is my wonderfully hugely pregnant wife today?", he'd asked in a teasing voice. Being as pregnant and hormonal as she was, Bella had burst into angry dry sobs. They were triggered by the word hugely which, in a pregnant woman's vocabulary was another word for fat.

Thus my presence here and the irony of the chapters name.


	3. Scrabble: Bella's POV

We, meaning the Cullens, were playing scrabble. Don't look so surprised, yes, i, bella marie Cullen am a Cullen. Alright soooo.. it was a fair game until Emmett's turn came. You could hear my shout above everyone else's. "_Emmett McCarthy Cullen, that is not a word, take it off the board!" "Fine," _Emmett whined. Rosalie rolled her eyes. According to Edward, her exact thoughts were:_ Crazetarded my ass, that's not even a word... oh my poor totally misguided husband._


	4. Alice's POV speechless

I wasn't possible. but she was telling me now, and she had taken a test. It had all started at the diner. She had wanted to tell me something. She had freaked out and hadn't been able to tell me. so she grabbed a tissue and wrote down a sentence. "alice", she said as she slipped it to me. The paper read: _I'm pregnant. _Speechless... that's exactly what i was...


	5. The cullen games

it was that time of year again. It was the Cullen games again. I think the fact that i was a vampire now would make it more interesting. It was eleven forty five, five more minutes until we started the international Cullen games. I was sitting in a rocking chair watching Renesme sleep. Before i go on to tell you what happens, i'll tell you what the first challenge was for the games.

There are two teams. Team one would be me (Bella) , my husband (Edward), Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. Team two would be Emmett & Jasper. The challenge is that each team would steal something from the other, and each would be given two weeks to race around the world, and found out what is missing, and recover the missing item.

There i was sitting in he rocking chair, minding my own business, when a hand wove itself about my mouth. It wasn't Carlisle's, it wasn't Jasper's, and it most definitely wasn't Edward's, so it had to Emmett's. He motioned for me to be quiet and opened the curtains. Jasper was balancing on a branch holding p note-cards for me to read. The first one said: KEEP QUIET! or emmett will knock you incautious. Nod if you agree. I nodded. He flipped the card to show another that read: The games have begun! and you will be our stolen item. You will come quietly, peacefully, and willingly with us. Nod if you agree. I nodded again. I took Emmett's hand as we jumped quietly into the backyard, and tiptoed to the team two car. On the bumper sticker it read: The annual Cullen games. Be prepared for crazy driving, disturbance of peace, and random bursts of maniacal laughter. you have been warned.

Edward's POV

I was about to come upstairs, and get my wife so we could leave, until my daughter, Renesme came tumbling up to me crying. " Renesme, sweetheart do you want to tell daddy what's wrong?", i asked. She mumbled into my chest. " I had to use the potty, but when i woke up, it was dark and momma was gone." "Where did momma go daddy?" " you have to find her!", Renesme cried. As soon as Renesme had finished her explanation, i could hear Emmett's thoughts loud and clear.

I growled. "What?", alice said, dancing into he room. " They didn't take my CDs this time, they took Bella, i answered. she glowered. " The rules don't say you're allowed to steal people", she muttered menacingly.


	6. Poking mommy Bella

**AN: THis is just a short little humor one shot. it was running through my mind so i wrote it. Now read, and review. Reviews make me happy. When i don't get my reviews i get sad, and then i don't update. I thought you guys loved updates...**

**Poke. **He just couldn't be serious for five seconds. **poke. **He was just having so much fun. **Poke. **Okay, now it's getting annoying. **Poke. **This has to stop. "Um... Emmett?" "hmmm?" He replied his finger angled to poke my stomach again. "That tickles", i said nicely. **Poke. **"Okay, sorry", Emmett replied, his finger out strectched to poke me for the tenth time. **Poke poke poke. **"Can you stop?" "Nope", Emmett replied. **Poke poke poke. **"Emmett, you didn't have to stay with me tonight, i can wait on my own until everyone gets home from hunting", i said in a whiney voice. "I know that", he said shrugging. I just sat there with a look of annoyance, amusement, and curiosity was plastered on my face.

"Is there really a baby in there?" He asked seriously. I nodded. He just cocked an eyebrow, and brought his other hand out from under his body. He was laying on his stomach on the carpet, with one finger poking my stomach, as i squirmed on the couch. the pointer finger from his right hand, joined the left one poking my stomach. **Poke. **"So does he know i'm poking him?" "We don't know the sex of the baby yet Emmett", i said in a "duh" tone of voice. "You don't know, but i do", he said omniously. I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Really?" I said sarcastically. He nodded. "I'm a little chilen' whisperer", he murmured. I laughed shortly & quietly to myself, "Don't you mean a baby whisperer?" He shook his head no. "I mean a chilen' whisperer, he began to explain, I talk to all of the little chilens' and they talk back."

As i was about to reply, Jasper appeared in the living room with us. He walked in through the swinging door that lead to the kitchen. "I'm done hunting Em, the others want you to join them", Jasper said. "Kay", Emmett said. He patted the spot he had occupied as a signal for Jasper to come and save it for him. I sighed in relief as his fingers stopped poking me. Jasper walked in to the living room and layed down on his stomach just as Emmett had. He looked at me and smiled. "Hey sis", he said cheerily. He tucked one arm under his stomach, and stuck out his pointer finger on the other hand and aimed it towards my stomach. **Poke. **"How's mommy life?" Jasper added as his finger continued it's attack on my stomach.

I layed back and sighed in resignation. "It goes great Jasper", i replied. He smiled to himself. He looked at me. I know you're kind of annoyed with all the attention right now, but the shopping trip tomorrow should cheer you up a little", he said non chalantly. "What shopping trip!?" I exclaimed, dropping my calm facade. "You didn't know? I thought Alice told you?" He said, seeming a bit alarmed. **poke. **Even when he was alarmed, the poking continued. I relaxed against the couch again. "I think your wife has a problem", i sighed tiredly. Jasper looked at me questioningly. "Look at that, she's got you so well trained, you don't even notice her flaws anymore", i laughed. The same look was still plastered on his face.

I chuckled again. "you ever considered that your wife is a shopohlic?" He paused for a while in thought. He continued to poke me, but didn't relply. "That's what i thought", i said amused. He just looked at my stomach, and concentrated on poking me. **Poke. **"You're husband's a prude, we're even", he said finally. I looked at him with one eyebrow cocked in amusement. "That's not an answer, it's a double standard", i said triumphantly. He ignored me, and conitinued to poke my stomach. I heard a slight click come from somewhere near the kitchen. A couple of minutes later, Emmett came strolling into the room. "I'm back", he said. Jasper moved over a little to make room for Emmett.

**Poke poke... poke poke. **I now had Emmett poking me along with Jasper now. "Hey Jazz, did i tell you?" I said bored. "Tell me what?" "Em's a chilen' whisperer", i said chuckling. "Don't you mean a baby whisperer?" I shook my head at Jasper. "That's what she said!" Emmett exclaimed. I shook my head in astonnishment. "I'm so lucky", i whispered quietly, but of course, my brothers heard me. "Lucky for what?" They said in unision. "I'm lucky to have the most random, funny awesome brothers ever!" I laughed.

Emmett smiled cheekily and gave me a one armed hug. Jasper shook his head in astonishment. His head turned up all of a sudden. "What?" I demanded. Emmett seemed to have noticed whaatever Jasper had been startled by. Jasper began to laugh uncontrollably. "Bella, in the last four minutes, no one has poked you, aren't you relieved?" Jasper asked out of the blue. I thought about it, sighed in relief. "Hey Bella", Alice greeted as she entered the room. She took a seatdown next to Jasper, stuck one arm underneath her body, and stuck the pointer finger on her other arm out too aim it at my stomach. **Poke. **"So how was your day?" She asked non chalantly. I sighed in resignation, as Jasper and Emmett burst into a round of laughter.

**AN: I love this one. It was short, sweet, random, and funny.** **If you didn't like it, i don't care, don't read it. If you liked it, well... go figure. Thank you for favoriting yateh yateh yatah, ReViEw! ReViEw! ReViEw! Do it. If you have time to favorite me, you damn sure have time to review. Just review, that's all i asked all of you, it's really not much. Just click that little button and tell me how much you love me. :P (Sep. 22 2009) 9:44 p.m. (in case you were curious, this is when i added this fic. on my profile).**


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